This damp and sunless day I think
of you and
my hand in your pocket,
leaves falling like golden
This morning when I checked my email I had two poems about heaven there. I subscribe to a few poet’s blogs, to Poets.org’s Poem a Day, and to Rattle’s Daily Poem. I thought, out of all the sites I read and all the poet’s that write poems, it was interesting that two poems were about heaven on the same day. (Here and here.) I’m not sure what heaven is, I’m not sure if it’s a real place or just something the faithful want to believe in and aspire to in order to make their lives more bearable and purposeful. I can’t say it’s not a real place because I want to have an open mind about things that can’t be seen or proven as fact. This world is too mysterious to know for certain everything about it. The entire cosmos it too mysterious and far-reaching to know anything for certain. It’s an impossibility. Plus, I truly believe our brains are incapable of understanding or grasping many concepts including the possibility of a heaven or the possibility that deceased loved ones are not really deceased but are indeed existing on another plane, in another reality that we cannot fathom. I don’t know it to be true but I don’t know it to not be true.
I rarely think about heaven. Dictionary.com gives us several definitions of heaven. The one I identify the most with is this:
I woke up this morning thinking about repetition and how it can be a form of mindful meditation. Every morning I have the same routine. I go downstairs, take the dogs out into the backyard, flush out the fountain with fresh water and fill the cats water bowls. If it’s been dry I water the potted plants in the yard and the patio. I go inside, make coffee, feed the dogs, feed the cats, then sit down and read and/or write while I drink my coffee. I often turn the radio on to WWOZ and listen to their morning jazz set.
I haven’t thought about it until today but this routine is a comfort. It starts my day quietly and peacefully. Taking care of my pets who I love dearly and taking care of my plants that give me so much pleasure actually nourishes my mind and body. I’ve found since I’ve gotten older that I crave home and routine over excitement. I don’t feel a yearning for excitement like I did as a young woman. Some people might think I’ve “settled” and my life is boring. That’s ok. I don’t mind. This is my life and, for now, I’m happy in it.
“Our notions about happiness entrap us. We forget that they are just ideas. Our idea of happiness can prevent us from actually being happy. We fail to see the opportunity for joy that is right in front of us when we are caught in a belief that happiness should take a particular form.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh