water

3ww12 Today’s prompts at Three Word Wednesday are
Dreary
Embrace
Timid

water

rigid skyscrapers protrude into flocculent

storm clouds lying low over the city

in a dreary embrace of opposing greys

 

the first timid drops are miniscule explosions,

raising an areola of steam into the air

producing that distinctive smell

 

that rain creates when wetting

dry earth and concrete that’s lain in the

summer sun too long without moisture

 

as the storm builds our bodies entwine,

the sweat from your brow falling on my breast

on my stomach, on my thighs

 

the stone that i have been for time without end

absorbs the moisture and is transformed into

a softer, yielding, enveloping vessel

 

fill me up

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “water

  1. loved the feeling this gave me. one suggestion would be to tighten this line, “summer sun too long without moisture”, maybe “scorching summer sun too long” or “blazing summer sun”, something like that maybe.

    evokes a lot of passion, this one does. -Meg

    Like

  2. Thanks, all.

    I like your suggestion, Meg. I actually deleted “hot” from the summer sun line…I’m always afraid I’m using too many adjectives. Some poetry I read with a lot of adjectives comes off as too deliberate to me. 🙂 I strive for natual. Good criticism, though. Keep it coming!

    Like

  3. terribly sensual. I know the smell you’re describing. I’ve spent a lot of time in the desert, and there’s that distinctive smell of the dust anticipating the rain in very much the way you’ve described the MC anticipating her lover’s touch. Very nicely done.

    Like

  4. Thank you Thom, quin & pjd.

    pdj, that is an indescribable smell, isn’t it? Living in NoLA I don’t often experience it but it rained a week or so ago & I happened to be in my garden when the fist drops fell. It had been dry for a while and that smell just permeated my senses. That little moment is what inspired this verse.

    Like

  5. I love this one, and particularly appropriate for this time of year! “The sweat from your brow falling on my breast” — very sensual.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s